BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! versus CIVIC PUB

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! IN THE CIVIC PUB!
UPSTAIRS!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! IS THE POETRY SLAM IN THE PUB, THIS MONTH IN THE CIVIC PUB!

If you are going, “What’s this poetry slam thing?” Well you’re reading the right facebook invitation.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is two minutes of your original material with no props or music on the stage for an audience for 1^st prizes.

Yes, we want your words, and Yes, many first prizes.

“HOW ARE THE FIRST PRIZES DECIDED?” BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! can see your thought bubble. The prizes are decided by numerous methods including judges who score poems, randomness (possibly Fate for those who don’t believe in human agency), arbitrary judgment by The Master of Conflict (or good taste if you believe in that), and possibly others → turn up → find out → perform your words, we’ll take anything.

Because we want your words on stage, in the audience, at the bar, in the bathroom, all yelling, all arms, all legs and all unshaved or shaved (it’s your choice!). So escape from that mysterious scientific base where we hear the distant explosions. Because this is BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! goes to the Civic Pub.

Feature acts to be announced!

Really, two minutes, your words, no props no music, for prizes, join BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at the Civic Pub, sign-up from 7:30pm, poetry slam at 8:00pm.

Have you got any questions?

The Poetry Slam, Wednesday night inside The Phoenix Pub

Have you been to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!?

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is the poetry slam that wants your words on stage for two minutes for 1st prizes.

And to enable this you get one stage, five judges, much sound, many audience, twice the microphone, The Sound Guy, multiple MCs, The Score Adder, very much prize giving, The Master of Conflict, multiplied feature acts, and two minutes on the stage.

That is right, all those things for your words, ‘cause we want ‘em, whatever they are, all of 'em, packed into two entire minutes…

And this month we bring acts, feature acts! FEATURE ACTS.

Feature Act One is STACKHAT [TIM KENT].

Feature Act Two is GOLDEN ORB.

And filling The Hadley Memorial Slots is the poet AK-Pyjamas!

AK-Pyjamas (Photo by Adam Thomas)

So be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at The Phoenix Pub in the Civic bus interchange, sign-up from 730pm, with your original words, no props, no music, two minutes, for prizes and more prizes.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at The Phoenix Pub on 12 December in Canberra

Poster by Anne Lander

The December BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! will be at the special time of the 2nd Wednesday of December.

So bring your words, your audience, your judges, your to do lists, your fridges, your poems, to The Phoenix Pub for prizes! Because we give you a stage, two microphones, two MCs, The Master of Conflict, The Score Adder, The Sacrificial Poet and 2 Minutes on stage for Prizes.

This December Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! also brings you two feature acts:

Penelope Asterisk

Burlesque strong-woman Penelope Asterisk is guaranteed to be able to bench press not only more than any poet can, but likely all the poets in the Phoenix.

Tom Woodward

A writer, musician and general dilettante, Tom has been all these things since he was ten. Now twenty-eight his career as a writer, musician and general dilettante turns eighteen. Happy birthday to you, miserable life!

So join BAD!SLAM!N!OBISCUIT! on the 2nd Wednesday of December for the final poetry slam of 2012, for prizes, for glory, for stanza, for the sacrifice of it all, there will be bourbon, oh Bad!Slam! knows there will be bourbon.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! on 21 November @ The Phoenix Pub

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix Pub

In November we provide you with a stage, an audience, five judges, The Score Adder, two microphones, and two minutes on stage, for prizes, FIRST PRIZES from Impact Comics, The Games Capital, Smiths Alternative Bookshop, and from underneath the back office desk.

And of course we provide you with the Master of Conflict to arbitrarily judge the poet amongst poets to claim one of our many many first prizes and quite likely the best of the first prizes.

So we want your words on stage to perform poems, be scored, be judged, care or not care about the judges, and drink some cider and or whiskey and or something else.

And this month we have two features acts:

One feature is Emilie Zoey Baker.

Poet and spoken word performer Emilie Zoey Baker is the winner of the 2010 International Slam Review as part of the Berlin International Literature Festival, she also toured and performed in Paris, London and Singapore ending at the 2010 Ubud Writers festival in Bali. She toured North America in 2009 following an invitation to perform at Montréal’s Festival Voix d’Amériques. The tour included New York, Chicago, Toronto, Ottawa and Vancouver.

And returning to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! as the BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! house band is Bacon Cakes.

Bacon Cakes is a solo thrashing fuzzy headed garage punk cosmonaut! Birds Like Fighting Records describe him and his music as “...perfect for a quick drive downtown, all fitting within the limited 15 minute space on the A side. His charisma on stage (and in life) is carried through onto the tape in this fuzzed out pop love live recorded session.”

Bacon Cakes @ BMA

So join the BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at The Phoenix Pub for poetry, and remember, no props, no music, YOUR ORIGINAL WORDS, on stage, signup at 730pm, for prizes, for glory, for a peg leg.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 7:30pm on 17 October 2012 @ The Phoenix Pub

THE THIRD HEAT OF THE AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY AUSTRALIAN POETRY SLAM!

All for you!

Back in the Phoenix Pub!

And dedicated to marsupials!

Which means we want your words on the BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! stage!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is your monthly poetry slam in Canberra that provides you with two minutes, (why won’t they think of the marsupials?), an audience, A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, two microphones, THE SCORE ADDER, judges – five judges!, (...the marsupials...) more first prizes than ever or ever will be, THE MASTER OF CONFLICT, another MC, A STAGE, The Sacrificial Poet, THE OPPORTUNITY TO LISTEN TO POETRY or not, and the chance to perform whatever words you’ve got.

DON’T FORGET THE MARSUPIALS!

There are some special rules for this heat as it is part of the Australian Poetry Slam. They are here: http://australianpoetryslam.com/rules.

Oh for the love of marsupials...

WE HAVE FEATURE ACTS!

And they are:

PAUL MAGEE

"Paul Magee is the author of the surrealist ethnography From Here to Tierra del Fuego (University of Illinois Press: 2000) and Cube Root of Book (John Leonard Press: 2006), which is in verse. He is working on Chapter Twelve, again for John Leonard Press. Paul teaches poetry at the University of Canberra, where he is an Associate Professor. He has published extensively on psychoanalysis, stagnation, boredom and revolution."

AND:

JULIA JOHNSON

"Julia Johnson is the frontwoman of Julia and the Deep Sea Sirens. She has been compared to Sarah Blasko and Joni Mitchell, but she has also been compared to Joan Rivers and The Little Mermaid. You might hate her because she likes poems that rhyme, but she promises not to perform one. She knows all the words to Gangster's Paradise, and won the Triple J Unearthed Songwriting Comp earlier this year."

So bring your words ‘cause we want them on stage because BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a poetry slam full of marsupials.

And remember, no props, original material, no music, your words, on stage, 2 minutes, at The Phoenix Pub.

MARSUPIALS ARE NOT A THEME!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

(This heat sponsored by IMPACTCOMICS, The Games Capital, The RiotACT, NewActon, and a BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! back shed.)

The ACT Australian Poetry Slam Heat Number Two - The Hadley Memorial Slam

THE PRESENT CRISIS CALLS FOR HEAT NUMBER TWO OF THE ACT AUSTRALIAN POETRY SLAM HEATS!

This time at Smiths Alternative Bookstore/shop/frontage/wine bar/cafe...

With words, bring your words, and your renga, and your haiku, or your tanka, and your hokku, or even your renku, ‘cause it’s a crisis time I tellsya, crisis, and only poetry can save us if we wave our arms to the sky and say WORD! or

Yes, word.

And no you don’t have to restrict yourself to the above list of poetry forms, really, we will take anything.

But there are special rules for this poetry slam heat, find those rules by following the next link on this page, because preparation is your Uncle, as they say, and your Uncle is Mad: Australian Poetry Slam!

Now no poetry night would be complete without a feature act.

And our feature act for this evening is the all kinds of wonderfully special Drew Walky!

Drew Walky’s music has been described as “original and lyrically rich, with a folk-psychedelic edge” and “personal puzzles…delivered in an alternative folk style with a very ‘hippy hippy shake’ flavour.”

Read more about Drew Walky here: BMA Magazine on Drew Walky and then listen to him live at Smiths Alternative Bookshop on Saturday night.

CRISIS ALMOST RESOLVED!

In the invite for Heat One we mentioned the MASTER OF CONFLICT. The Master of Conflict was unfortunately turned into a vampire that night so who KNOWS IF HE WILL MAKE IT TO THIS SLAM, but clap and hope he is going to be there for us is all we can say and do, CLAP IS ALL THAT CAN SAVE HIM, CLAP! You may just bring him back from the dead, or as the undead. And you do want him there, 'cause he brings prizes, YES PRIZES!

CLAP, CRISIS!

And then, as written earlier, bring yourself and your POETRY SPRUIKING GUNDAM to Smiths Alternative Bookshop for poetry, and prizes, and glory.

CRISIS NOT RESOLVED!

CLAP!

Thanks to our sponsors IMPACT COMICS, THE GAMES CAPITAL, THE PHOENIX PUB, THE RIOTACT and NEWACTON.

And remember, there is one more heat after this, it is on 17 October at The Phoenix Pub and it shall be known as Heat Number Three, and then there is the final at NewActon on 3 November, it shall be known as…

The Final

Remember, crisis… clap...

The ACT Australian Poetry Slam events are brought to you by:

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! which can normally be found in The Phoenix Pub on the third Wednesday of every month!

ACT Australian Poetry Slam Heat One

THIS IS THE INVITATION TO THE AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY (ACT) AUSTRALIAN POETRY SLAM HEAT NUMBER ONE!

Heat Number One will be held at The Front Gallery and Cafe and is brought to you by your friendly BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! Team.

The top five poets from Heat Number One will go into the ACT Australian Poetry Slam Final for the chance to represent the ACT at the Australian Poetry Slam in Sydney. But this is not the only reason to be at this extraordinary event...

THE MASTER OF CONFLICT – WHO HATES POETRY BUT LOVES POETS – WILL BE AN MC AT THIS EVENT SO YOU SHOULD BE THERE TOO!

YOU SHOULD ALSO BRING YOUR POEM TO PERFORM, OR ALL YOUR JUDGEMENT FOR THE JUDGING!

Sign-up opens at 730pm and closes when The Score Adder says it is closed!

Not only is there all that, but we have a special guest Sacrificial Poet in the formation of THE FLYING V!

And our feature poet for the evening is Bela Farkas

A Canberra writer and performer, Bela has featured at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and Cannibal Kittens showcases. With The Tragic Troubadours he has performed at the Canberra Fringe, National Folk, and YouAreHere festivals. He is also studying for a degree in Writing from the University of Canberra and writes poetry and short plays. He also has an understanding of Chair Guy.

There are exciting special rules for this Australian Poetry Slam Heat, go to http://australianpoetryslam.com/ to read them. Details of heats two and three, as well as the final, can be found there too.

The ACT Australian Poetry Slam events are brought to you by:

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! which can normally be found in The Phoenix Pub on the third Wednesday of every month!

Thank you sponsors: Impact Comics, The RiotACT, Mind Games Canberra, The Phoenix Pub, and NewActon.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! wakes from torpor to bring you the GODZILLA edition.

RAR! FLAMES! LAZER EYES!

You may not know why, Why, WHY!

So bring your poems, your rants, your really short stories, your WHY did they have a baby Godzilla cartoon to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

Because we want your words on stage for two minutes with two microphones, an audience in front, The Score Adder, the Sound Guy, two MCs, THE MASTER OF CONFLICT, maybe a Mister of Conflict, numerous 1st prizes, all within easy reach of a bar full of alcohol, and several toilets.

Yes toilets; RAR! FLAMES! LAZER EYES!

We also bring you two feature acts for the re-birth of the GODZILLA BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

FEATURE ACT ONE IS

Matty Ellis

Straight from the Ellis Collective to the stage for you Matty Ellis takes an unconventional approach to storytelling that recounts the jagged-edged disappointments of everyday life, his songs are undeniably unique and unmistakably Australian.

FEATURE ACT TWO IS

CJ Bowerbird

CJ Bowerbird is a performance poet. He writes and performs poems about things he has lost, things he never had and things that are slipping through his fingers. He too is unmistakably Australian.

LIKE GODZILLA

RAR! FLAMES! LAZER EYES!

So join BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at the Phoenix for poetry, music, drinking, FIRST PRIZES, and remember no props, no musical accompaniment, and your words at the Phoneix, 730pm sign-up for the 8pm start.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at The Phoenix on 15 August 2012

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! launches into August The Month of Mystery.

The August poster

With two microphones, a stage, an audience, judges, The Score Adder, Shakespeare, Prizes and your choice of beer, cider, spirits or water and cordial or water without cordial. This is BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and this is August the month of Mystery.

And BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! will be featuring the mysterious:

That Guy Named After an Apple

This is our first mystery feature act. Not much is known about That Guy Named After an Apple, he is after all a man of mystery. But his name tells you that “That Guy” could = Dude and that “Named After an Apple” could = Pink Lady. Yes, BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! could be bringing you Dude, Pink Lady. It will be...mysterious.

And BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! will bring you our second act feature act of mystery, straight from The Columbia:

Finnigan and Brother

Finnigan and Brother is the duo of siblings Chris (guitar/FX) and David Finnigan (words/radio/visuals). Finnigan and Brother first performed live at the 2009 Multicultural Fringe Festival in the Canberra. Their work featured in the launch edition of digital zine Goofbang, and their music has been featured on Sydney’s FBI Radio by New Weird Australia and Sunday Night at the Movies. They are currently in Medellin, Colombia, to work at the Campos de Gutierrez artist residency space on a series of new compositions. Then they will be in The Phoenix

So bring your words ‘cause we want them on stage because BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a poetry slam full of mystery.

And remember, no props, original material, no music, your words, on stage, 2 minutes, at The Phoenix Pub.

Mystery!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 730pm @ The Phoenix Pub

If it wasn’t for HAMBURGER you wouldn’t have BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

So the July BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is hereby declared HAMBURGER BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! in July!

And in honour of HAMBURGER BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! in July! we bring you:

Two microphones, a stage, an audience, THE MASTER OF CONFLICT, score adding (by The Score Adder), two MCs (likely including the above THE MASTER OF CONLFICT) and

WE GIVE YOU TWO MINUTES TO PERFORM YOUR ORIGINAL MATERIAL WITH NO PROPS OR MUSIC ON A STAGE.

And there will be judging.

And because no HAMBURGER BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! in July! is complete without not only bringing you the stage with the two microphones, the opportunity to perform your poems to an audience, judging by The Master of Conflict, and the judging by the judges in the audience, and the adding up, we also bringing you two feature acts.

Feature Act I is:

HAMBURGER Julian Fleetwood

HAMBURGER Julian Fleetwood was a misguided teenager who wrote a terrible text adventure based on a Terry Pratchett joke, BUT THIS IS NO JOKE, zombies are attacking Canberra and there's only one person who can save the city: YOU!

Feature Act II:

HAMBURGER Rafe Morris

HAMBURGER Rafe Morris writes songs. HAMBURGER Rafe Morris plays these songs in front of people. Sometimes he plays with a band called HAMBURGER The Well Dressed. Together they're called HAMBURGER Rafe and HAMBURGER The Well Dressed. They're pretty good. But for this night you just get HAMBURGER Rafe Morris.

So remember: NO MUSIC, NO PROPS, 2 MINUTES, YOUR ORIGINAL MATERIAL!

7:30PM at The Phoenix, East Row, Canberra, not HAMBURGER not provided.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 7:30pm Wednesday 18 July 2012, inside the Phoenix Pub

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 730pm, 20 June @ The Phoenix

The June 2012 BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! poster

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is your poetry slam in June.

And that means bring your words, your crimes against poetry, your rants, your intent to coagulate on stage, your witticisms, your HERE I AM JUDGE ME BECAUSE I DON'T CARE FOR YOUR JUDGING, all for prizes, all for poetry, all for their poetry, ALL FOR YOUR POETRY!

Because we give you a stage, 2 minutes, The Master of Conflict, an audience, poets, MCs, poetry, The Score Adder, and words on stage behind two microphones.

ALL FOR POETRY

And all so you can cheer, heckle, wave your arms and shout from stage or from somewhere else in the Phoenix.

For prizes

And this month we also bring you TWO feature acts, TWO, which is not unusual at all.

One is a feature act of poetry.

He flew all the way to Sydney from somewhere in the United Kingdom just so he can hitch-hike/catch a bus/walk or fly to Canberra for BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!. He is

Captain of the Rant

And we bring to you

The Brass Knuckle Brass Band

Who come all the way from multiple suburbs in Canberra, all to be our BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! feature act and house band for the evening.

So remember, your poetry, 2 minutes, no props, no music, original material, join us at the Phoenix for BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and prizes.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix 730PM Wednesday 16 May 2012

THIS IS THE BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! MAY 2012 SPECIAL EDITION INVITATION

That means, prizes, yes, prizes, for poetry, special prizes for poetry

And The Batman

Because we want you onstage with your 2 minutes, your original material, and your no props

ALL SO YOU CAN WIN AT LEAST ONE OF OUR THREE, FOUR, MAYBE FIVE FIRST PRIZES

You are The Batman

Now in the interests of keeping this succinct this invitation will tell you about prizes

Yes, prizes, if you win we won’t send you to perform for some totalitarian regime, but that’s okay

Be The Batman

No, instead we give you special prizes, maybe things from SOMEONE’S BACKYARD, maybe things broken in IMPACT COMICS, maybe things no person wants to buy in MIND GAMES, maybe something free that they can’t sell at SMITHS ALTERNATIVE BOOKSHOP, and maybe a tasty bbq’ed thing from GORMAN HOUSE MARKETS, who knows?

BUT IT IS ALL ABOUT NOT COMPROMISING YOU

Just ask The Batman

So typically these invitations are verbose, extended, drawn out and non-sensible or nonsensical, but because this month is a very special month the invite is not any of those things, no

The Batman

Being not that, it, this invitation, is now going to tell you about the feature acts

This month we have two feature acts, YES TWO

Not The Batman.

We have the SONGTRON 8000

“SONGTRON 8000 appears as the Emperor SONGTRON 8000 in Remembrance of the SONGTRON 8000s, with his white and gold SONGTRON 8000s now based on Skaro and termed "Imperial SONGTRON 8000s", fighting against the grey "Renegade SONGTRON 8000" faction. By this time, SONGTRON 8000 has been physically transplanted into a customised SONGTRON 8000 casing. Both Skaro and the Imperial SONGTRON 8000 mothership are apparently destroyed when the Seventh Doctor tricks SONGTRON 8000 into using the Time Lord artefact known as the Hand of Omega. However, a SONGTRON 8000 on the bridge of SONGTRON 8000's ship reports that the Emperor's escape pod is being launched and a white light is seen speeding away from the ship moments before its destruction, leaving a clear route to bring SONGTRON 8000 back in the future.”

AND WE HAVE.

She is the Batman

But not to be outdone by bringing the age old enemy of the Doctor to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

We also have ARCHIE (aka Robin Archbold)

“Robin Archbold has been variously described as electrifying, heartbreaking, wonderfully romantic, hilarious and inspirational, and is the only performer ever to have won the Woodford Poetry Slam and the Woodford Storytelling Award. Equally at home at outback poets’ breakfasts, late-night burlesque bars in the cities or the main stage at the Sydney Theatre Company, he can entertain and move your mum, or the boffins at the biggest poetry festivals in the country. He’s a multi-slam winner, multi-festival feature performer and workshop presenter extraordinaire. You never know where the ride will take you, and you won’t care.”

YES, that is correct, both ROBIN ARCHBOLD (aka ARCHIE) and the SONGTON 8000

We are The Batman

So join The Master of Conflict, JACINTA, The Score Adder, Andrew Galan and The Sacrificial Poet at the Phoenix for a 730pm signup for your original words with no props or music on stage for two whole minutes to win prizes, prizes, prizes

THIS IS SPECIAL

Listen to The Batman.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 7:30pm Wednesday 16 May 2012, inside the Phoenix Pub

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 18 April

The 18 April 2012
BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!
poster

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a poetry slam.

GREETINGS HUMANS!

Welcome to the BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! invitation

And you know what that means

IT COULD BE McSLAM TIME

But probably won’t be

That means two minutes, a microphone, a stage, five judges, an audience, The Score Adder, and THE MASTER OF CONFLICT

All so you can perform, listen, ignore or drink to

original material

with no props

McSLAM IT DOWN

Or not

Whatever that means

Now, just so you all know, we at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! are not content to provide you with the opportunity to perform, listen, ignore or drink to

WORDS

No

this month we bring you two feature acts too

ONE:

direct from sunny across the border

He is your hometown, my hometown, their hometown

with a split mix-tape

So don’t slop when you eat ‘cause he will be blowing things apart

with some real real voodoo

One Man Bandito

not your fake voodoo

He is

BACON CAKES

!!!

And, because like above we said we have two feature acts

WE HAVE TWO

this is the number two feature act (but not in a pejorative sense):

EDDY BURGER

Eddy Burger is a writer of funny and experimental poetry, spoken word, stories and short plays. He is an anti realist, absurdist and champion of the imagination. His work has been published in journals and CD anthologies, including Unusual Work, Cordite, Meanjin, Going Down Swinging and Voiceprints, and he has had chapbooks published by the Melbourne Poets Union and Small Change Press. Eddy has been a regular feature on the spoken word stage for over 15 years and is a past winner of the Melbourne Fringe Festival Spoken Word Award.

So be at the Phoenix Pub with your original material, your no props, your McSlam happy meal, your two minutes, your audience of faces, your legs flapping, your kung fu in the bedroom moves, your liquorice all-sorts for poetry, for your MCs Andrew Galan and JACINTA, for your chance to drink and listen to EDDY BURGER and BACON CAKES! FOR THE CHANCE TO YELL A NUMBER THAT IS ten or NEGATIVE INFINITY be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

Really, McSlam time

in the interchange

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 18 April

More words about poetry slam

Interview Part II 

where things get arm wavy between Rosie Stevens of Scissors Paper Pen and Andrew Galan of BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! for YouAreHere.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 19:30 Hours Wednesday 14 March

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! RETURNS ONE TIME ONLY FOR THE FIRST TIME TO THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH!

FOR YOU—ARE—HERE!

and that means we want your words in the Phoenix

AND YOU WILL BE THERE BECAUSE WE ARE THE ONLY SLAM THAT PROVIDES YOU WITH

two microphones, five judges, A MASTER OF CONFLICT, an audience, The Score Adder, two MCs, FIVE FIRST PRIZES, and the right to claim the title of

GREATEST SLAMMER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE

WHICH MEANS IF YOU WIN YOU CAN BE POSTERISED AS

TRANS-TIME UNIVERSE CLASS POETRY

and we’ll send you to Goulbourn

on foot

with a carrot

a carrot in flippers

and of course there is

beerslashciderslashwhiskeyslashbourbonslashshantiesslash

slashsomething else

that’s right, ‘cause we know it is all about the titles

and PRIZES

from Impact Comics, Mind Games, the Oxfam Shop (NO CHILDREN OR ANIMALS HARMED), Smiths Alternative Book[store/shop/front organisation]  and The Gorman House Markets.

and drinking

Now, not to get you too excited, but the silver lining of the clouds smashing the Can and Corinbank is that we also have all the prizes that Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! was going to give away at Corin to give away to the First Prize Winner for Winning in the Can at the Phoenix!

To all potential five of the First Prize Winners for Winning!

YES WINNING!

So be at Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! whether you think it’s a good idea or not, bring your judging, your words, your hands to clap with, your mouths to flap with, your original material, your two minutes, your no props, and join us to make BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! YES WE’RE GOING TO MAKE BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and stamp it with a bird and tie it in twine and sell it as a zine.